...this isn't fair

title pa lang...sounds like my hinanakit..hihi..bkit nga ba? well..sometimes i think that what is happening to me isn't fair..parang i still don't get any..failed sa lahat ng bagay..i'm such a big L..naku! I'm afraid..i'm starting to self-pity again..i used to it..this should not be my attitude now..tapos na ako rito eh..tsaka i promise not to down myself..it doesn't help at all..God doesn't want me to feel this..He wants me to win because I'm His child..Actually, i have a lot of shortcomings and sometimes didn't trust His plans..i'm such a stubborn..He's giving me lessons but i keep on making everything on my own..there were times that i ignored Him..i didn't even pray..i don't like these..i should make a big transition in my life. i should do what i can do right now..and i should put my trust to Him..God is good that he entrusted me all these things i have in my life..he is so good that he provides me just enough for me to be contented..HE IS SO GOOD, HE'S SO GOOD TO ME.

"LOve hurts when we ask something in return. If it is a true love, just give. Don't expect something out of it.:)"
haay actually hindi ganun kdali un, pero ang great diba? masarap kc magmahal kahit na sobrang ang sakit sakit na. So hard to know that the one you love is hurting not because of you but because of other. Pero you are still pretending to be okay, still trying to hide ur feelings. As i always say, love is a risk. But feeling ko walang talo sa pag-ibig. Kc it's a gift from GOD. may part nga dun sa quote na nabasa ko "you just have to choose who's worth the pain" meaning masasaktan ka talaga once u take the risk but u still have a choice. It's all about choices. No one can take you the freedom to choose pero minsan you can't help but to be hurt syempre kahit anung pilit, eh kung un talaga eh. ang hirap nu? Basta ako...hindi ko nga alam eh..heheh:) bsta, God knows my heart. Why worry? Pwede na man magpray. Bsta dapat maging thankful sa lahat ng experiences kc may lessons, may learnings. un ang masaya dun. ngggrow ka as a person and as God wants you to be. Kahit ilang ulit ako masaktan..hindi pwedeng hindi ako magmamahal. I love to love. The best use of life is love. The best time to love is now.

,,love has come my way

in love? wow! dont believe it. kc naman he always makes me happy. pero ngaun sad ako kc ang tindi na ng nararamdaman ko. parang ayoko na mafeel ito. ang hirap kc. cant sleep at night. xa ung nasa isip ko before matulog xa pa rin ung nsa isip ko. nakakainis xa. ganito talaga pag love. nakakabaliw. gusto kong umiyak. magsenti. sumigaw. kiligin. haay..last night nga nktingin lang ako sa mirror habang iniisip xa. kc naman bat ganon xa? he always brightens my day. he always makes me smile. pag wala xa wala na akong gana. pag anjan xa gusto ko kausapin xa pero hindi ko naman magawa. naku ako kc ung tipong mahiyain. di nga ako makatingin sa kanya. pero ang masaya dun knowing that anjan xa na nangungulet, haay.....ang ganda ng paligid ko. pero i dont know his feelings. maybe for him i m just a friend im just an ate. pero ganun pa man, im so glad na rin that he came into my life. ayoko na. nahihirapan ako pag ganito. hindi ko na xa iisipin from now on. ang daya kc. baka nga xa di ako iniisip e. unfair pero..hay..anu ba? nahihirapan na talaga ako. hay..lamig lang ok. hehe. nakakainis na talaga xa. if he only knows my feeling. but im not that type talaga and hindi un natural sa girl. haay..............Jesus, help me pls........:0 thankful pa rin ako sa feelings na ito. i love you Lord, i love you Jesus.

..here i go again and i hate this feeling

Well this is the story behind my shout out posted in my friendster account..here it goes. HERE I GO AGAIN AND I HATE THIS FEELING. 'Feeling' meaning i'm starting to fall in love again and i really hate it because im experiencing love sick. Haay..i didn't expect to meet someone in a least expected place. i thought that my life right now would be boring but suddenly someone just came in a very special day and i can't help but to feel something i can't deny. I've been living with the shadow overhead. i've been sleeping with the clouds above my bed. Yeah, it's a Way Back into Love. And this time I'm certain that it will gonna work out for both of us. But actually i am thinking about what should be my move. Should I meet him halfway? Should i exert efforts and show some signs? (sigh) What is actually present are the pimples in my forehead. Sobrang dami na. Can't sleep at night. I can't stop missing him. Can't help but wait to see him na mangungulet and pangingitiin ako. He really brightens my day. Walang down moments pag kasama mu xa. Feeling ko there's something between us that binds our hearts. yon! im just praying na sana this is it. God will surely knows how i feel right now and im so glad to trust Him with my feelings. LOVE has come my way. Everything's gonna be okay.

..Because of Your Love

how can I see Your face and receive Your loving grace
when I am here shamed in sin
hurting You deep within
yet everytime I run and flee
You take me home forgiving me
with the skies I feel Your touch
no other love can be this much
You are there as I hide with Your arms open wide
for You alone have the greatest love the world has ever known
a love that never ceases to embrace a weary heart
and give a brand new start
provides light where the sun has never shown
now I can understand that I am here because of Your love
so I take Your gentle hand only to sin again
and yet You turn then stubbornly you take me home, forgiving me
how can love as great as this even want to exist
oh God of all that's good and true
please believe I love You too
though I walk through desert's doors
I will fear nothing more
you are there as I hide with Your arms open wide though I walk through desert's doors
I will fear nothing more nothing more
...as You take me by the hand that I am here because of Your love