TwiLight of my Life

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was not a vampire. Second, there was part of me — and I didn’t know how potent that part might be — that I'm thirsty of. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

If I was being honest with myself, I knew I was eager to get to work because I would see Edward. And that was very, very stupid.

My throat suddenly felt tight. I wasn’t used to being taken care of, and Edward ’s unspoken concern caught me by surprise.

I was consumed by the mystery Edward presented. And more than a little obsessed by Edward himself.

As always, I was electrically aware of Edward sitting close enough to touch, as distant as if he were merely an invention of my imagination.

I couldn’t allow him to have this level of influence over me. It was pathetic. More than pathetic, it was unhealthy.

I turned slowly, unwillingly. I didn’t want to feel what I knew I would feel when I looked at his too-perfect face.

I wasn’t interesting. And he was. Interesting… and brilliant… and mysterious… and perfect… and beautiful… and possibly able to lift full-sized vans with one hand.

It was difficult to believe that I hadn’t just imagined what Edward had said, and the way his eyes had looked. Maybe it was just a very convincing dream that I’d confused with reality. That seemed more probable than that I really appealed to him on any level.

I can’t imagine why that would be frustrating at all — just because someone refuses to tell you what they’re thinking, even if all the while they’re making cryptic little remarks specifically designed to keep you up at night wondering what they could possibly mean… now, why would that be frustrating?

His voice was like melting honey. I could imagine how much more overwhelming his eyes would be.

And I couldn’t stop the gloom that engulfed me as I realized I didn’t know how long I would have to wait before I saw him again.

I feel very safe with him.

I didn’t like it. Not seeing him. It makes me anxious.

I wanted to close that little distance, to reach out and touch him, but I was afraid he wouldn’t like me to.

I was stunned by the unexpected electricity that flowed through me, amazed that it was possible to be more aware of him than I already was. A crazy impulse to reach over and touch him, to stroke his perfect face just once in the darkness, nearly overwhelmed me.

Just give me a minute to restart my heart.

I think I forgot to breathe.

I love you. I will always love you, no matter what happens now.